But sometimes empathy is what slowly and silently kills us. Being a people-pleaser takes its toll. It is tiring to be polite to people who take your love for granted and treat you like a doormat. It is painful to care for someone unconditionally and feel the thorn of betrayal or insensitivity. It kills when your empathy, instead of being reciprocated, is repaid with negative energy. Letting other people take advantage of our kindness is a trap we empaths often fall into. But there’s a simple way to get out of it. You do not need to change your personality into someone who is harsh and rude. You do not need to swap your soft and beautiful heart for a heart of stone. You do not need to compromise your ethics or beliefs at all. Instead, you need to direct all that love and kindness and care that can change the world at yourself, at your needs and desires. And the easiest way to do this and emerge mentally and physically healthy is to erect firm boundaries. You need to realize that to make this world a better place, you need to be perfectly fit, happy and satisfied. You need to prioritize your needs in order to remain in good shape and high spirits. By doing this, you create a positive and uplifting frame of mind that allows you to function better and be attune to other people’s needs. In short, you need to take care of yourself, to take care of the world. These are some of the boundaries you can set to protect yourself from negative energy and emerge healthier and more empathetic than before.
1. Learn to say no
Learn to say no, especially to those who don’t value your time or respect you. Even if you feel duty-bound to help that person, remember that it is you and your needs that must always come first. Ask yourself: if I’m sick, how will I help those who need me? Politely reject people when the going gets tough. Take on fewer responsibilities.
2. Trust your gut
Keep an eye out for those energy-suckers who always sulk and find reasons to complain. Listen to your heart. If something doesn’t feel right, leave immediately. If you feel someone is trying to take advantage of you, dissociate yourself instead of making up an excuse for them.
3. Take a break
Go on regular holidays, shopping sprees and detoxes. If you’re overworking, take the next weekend off and go for a long drive, even if you have made some prior commitments. Find a hobby that recharges your spirits and helps you to think out of the box and assess situations objectively. Every once in while, take a well-deserved break and–for goodness sake–do not apologize or feel guilty for enjoying yourself.
4. Heal yourself with self-love
It all boils down to this. Be more selfish, and less selfless and realize that there’s nothing wrong in doing so. Schedule some ‘me time’ for yourself, every single day, and guard it zealously from energy-suckers. Pamper yourself with treats–whether it’s indulging in Swiss chocolate, going for a bath with essential oils and aroma candles, or simply being in the moment and feeling beautiful for being who you are. What are you waiting for? Share these tips with your wonderful empath friends and help create the beautiful world that you dream of!
